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God is in Charge

I have a great pastor! She has to be one of the best preachers I know and pulled off another success this morning preaching about tithing. How many people can say their pastor got them excited about tithing? Well, she did, and here’s why: she reminded me of a very simple truth, everything belongs to God. Now, that’s one of those things that I know in my head but I never act that way. I have two main issues: 1) I’m a worrier and 2) I think I’m in charge.

I worry about everything. I worry about what’s going to happen in my life. I worry about what I’m going to do with my life. I worry about our country and my family and yes, I worry about money. Why? It doesn’t change anything. Worrying has absolutely no effect on the outcome of ANYTHING! Yet, I’m a non-stop worrier.

I’m a control freak. I have to have everything all laid out in my life. I have to know what’s going on at all times and what I’m supposed to be doing. I have to make sure all the “right” decisions are made and, of course, I’m the only one who can make those right decisions. I want no surprises in my life. I want everything under control.

My worrying and controlling have made me miserable. My ECT treatments are to control my delusions. They’ve done that. My brain is clear of delusions but has become fogged up with worry. I’ve been totally depressed now that I have new things to worry about. I worry about future ECT treatments. I worry about the memory loss. I’ve forgotten the simple truth that God is in charge. I don’t need to worry because he has my future all planned out. Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV) “For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Romans 8:28 (NIV) And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.

I am not in charge and I do not have to be, God is. I can take my time, my talents and even my money and give it to God, trusting He will use what I have to take care of me and bless others. As I said at the top, my pastor reminded me of a simple truth. She did not tell me something I had never heard before or will never need to hear again. She told me what I needed to hear and what I think others need to hear as well: Don’t be afraid, God is in charge. Don’t be afraid to risk everything, God is in charge. You can give your time, God will provide you rest. You can give your talents, God will use them in ways you can’t even imagine. You can give your money, God will take care of you.

I’ve used this blog to share my struggle and now I’m sharing my triumph. I’m not cured but I have a great physician who has my care under His control. I’m going to be okay. I’m going to trust. I’m going to have faith.

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