I’ve always said, “patience is not one of my virtues”. I don’t like to wait for God to answer my prayers. I want them NOW. Even when I have a sense of peace from God suggesting He will answer my prayers – on His timing instead of mine – still I want that result now.
I prayed for years for a grandchild. My daughter had fertility issues so we prepared for the answer, “no’ but still I faithfully prayed. Month after month passed with no baby. We prepared for that “no” with each passing month. We finally resigned ourselves to the “no” when I got the package in the mail from her. She called and my wife came in to open it together. As those first minutes passed, my hope began to grow. As I opened the package, a slip of paper fell out. I picked it up and read the packing slip that said, “grandma tshirt”. The word, “really?” came to my mind again caged in caution. But I just started to repeat, “no way!” the word over and over as I laughed. I opened the package and sure enough found two tshirts: one for me with the word, “Mimi” and one for my wife that said, “Coco”. Our prayers had been answered.
As the months passed, I was scared that this precious baby would not make it into my arms. I’m a worrier at heart, so my fears stuck with me. With each passing milestone: first trimester, second trimester, third trimester, I tried to put my fears behind me. The pregnancy was a challenge as my daughter’s blood pressure raised to dangerous levels. She was diagnosed with gestational hypertension and had to be induced, and then with postpartum pre-eclampsia a week after giving birth.
But God was there with us every step of the way. My grandson was born healthy and happy and has brought such joy to the parents and relatives on each side. My daughter’s medication did the trick and her blood pressure returned to normal. God was with us, why did I doubt? Did my worry change anything? No, it robbed me of peace. Would my worry have changed the outcome? No, all my doubts didn’t change the outcome of anything. Everything unfolded as God ordained.
I look at adorable pictures of my grandson and peaceful looks on the face of my daughter and son-in-law as they experience the joy of parenthood. Did I learn anything? I’d like to say “yes” but realistically??? It was a lesson in trusting God. I may be a slow learner but I rejoice in the reassurance God offers. Waiting on God’s timing is hard for me but I’m happy to have a loving, patient God who desires to calm my fears. Patience isn’t one of my virtues but fortunately the world doesn’t rely on me to know the future. I only need to know the God who does.
Photo by Duane Mendes on Unsplash
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