Seeking Attention

I was 12 when I first tried to kill myself. Twelve. I was a child, and I was in so much pain I wanted to die. Sit with that. There was so much wrong in my world, I couldn’t cope. Trying to gain control, I stopped talking. I gave a cooking presentation and had written out the whole presentation on notecards, but I slipped and spoke a word. This caused the other kids to mock me. It was too much. I took the Sterno lighter fluid, ran to the bathroom and drank some. Teachers rushed in and I was taken to the hospital to have my stomach pumped. I hadn’t drank a lot. It was unlikely to hurt me, so I was labeled an attention seeker.

Let me make this clear, if anyone tries to kill themselves GIVE THEM ATTENTION! We are in pain. We are in such pain we no longer want to live. We don’t need to be rejected; we need to be loved. We need to know someone cares. And if it’s a child, A CHILD, how much more do we need to wrap our arms around them and reassure them they aren’t alone.

For some of us, the world can be a cold, lonely, scary place. We feel isolated, judged for being different. On the other side, there are people who fear the intensity of our feelings, so they ostracize us – the exact opposite of what we need.

When you hear someone expressing pain, use it as an opportunity to empathize. Look at their strong feelings and respond with, “I see you. I hear you. How can I help?” No judgement. People who are suicidal are hurting. Be their lifeline. Just listen. Validate their experience. Show them they aren’t alone. Give them attention.

Photo by Brands&People on Unsplash