Recovery

I’m good at sharing what’s going on in my life. I think I drive my family crazy because where their lives intersect with my own, I consider fair game with my writing. So, I’ve shared my daughter’s recovery and my father’s recovery but haven’t written a lot about my own recovery. I have binge eating disorder and I’m a compulsive overeater. Where my daughter had meth and heroin and my father was an alcoholic, my addiction is food.

I love food. I love eating when I’m happy, sad, or bored. I love going out to eat with friends or gathering for family meals. I love showing my love for others by cooking their favorite dishes or making that special treat. I loved it so much I stretched my stomach out to the point it doesn’t work right anymore. I’m so heavy I struggle to walk up or down stairs without pain. My love of food was killing me.

So, at my daughter’s suggestion I decided to try Overeaters Anonymous. I got the book “Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of Overeaters Anonymous” and the accompanying workbook. I worked my way through the first three steps without difficulty. Now I’m on the fourth step, “made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves”. It’s scary and empowering at the same time.

I have a disease but it’s not hopeless. I can take the skills I learned through the Eating Recovery Center and use them to help me make better food choices. With God’s help I can turn to Him rather than doughnuts. I don’t have to go through this alone. I haven’t found a sponsor yet, but I will as soon as I can. I’m choosing health. I’m choosing recovery. I can’t give up food. I must manage the addiction. But I watched my daughter and father overcome their addictions. They inspire me to give up mine.

Photo by Dan Meyers on Unsplash