I’m fine

“How are you?”

“I’m fine, and you?”

“I’m fine.”

The most banal and yet deceptive conversation that takes place thousands of times at thousands of gatherings every day. I’m told it’s different outside the United States, but here it’s a required social practice. It is a meaningless greeting between acquaintances if not friends. The truth is hidden somewhere in the exchange. “How are you?” I recognize you. “I’m fine” I made it out of bed today. I got dressed. I came to church, school, or social gathering. “And you?” I’m polite so if you ask me, I will ask you.  Then you say, “I’m fine.” And the exchange is complete.

 What is the point? “How are you?” My world is falling apart. I don’t want to be here I want to be in bed crying out my anguish. “How are you?” I worsen every day, each day’s terror leads to more terror the next day, “How are you?” I’m barely hanging on but I don’t know how to escape the hell I live in.

“I’m fine.” I’m not in any way fine but I will continue the ritual as expected.

“And you?” Please be honest. If you’re honest, I can be honest, and I desperately want to share the truth of my struggles. Let’s share in such a way that it shows our emotions not just the lie and the smile that seems required.

“I’m fine” So the lie continues, the exchange ends and we move on to the next person. The next deceitful conversation. “How are you?”

Photo by Roger Starnes Sr on Unsplash