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First Dance

Updated: May 23, 2022

Three years ago my amazing husband transitioned and became my phenomenal wife. With strength and courage, after 30 years of marriage, she became her authentic self to the world. While I was a part of the transitioning process over 10 years, it’s only been recently that I began to see myself as part of a same-sex relationship.

We’ve been on quite the journey. We’ve stood by each other through so many joys and traumas, tears and triumphs. I couldn’t ask for a better friend or partner. The transition hasn’t been easy – although it’s been easier than either of us would have predicted – but it was necessary. She’s happier and more at peace than I’ve ever seen her which makes all the rest of it nothing more than an inconvenience. She is my heart and my soul.

Yesterday, we attended our niece’s wedding. After the couple’s first dance and father-daughter/mother-son dances, the DJ called up all the married couples for an “anniversary” dance. My wife protested but I convinced her to join me. As the newlyweds and those married for less time than us left the floor, we remained. Married for 33 years, we were one of the last couples to take our seats. During that time, I imagine we stood out. Two women, arms wrapped around the other, dancing amidst all the heterosexual couples. My wife commented on the smile on my face.

Normally, I struggle with PDA’s and am very aware of how we must look holding hands, walking down the street together. I spend waaaayyy too much time worrying about what others think. But, on this day, I didn’t care. It was our first dance as wife and wife and a public one at that. But all I knew was that I was sharing our successful marriage with everyone in the room. I wasn’t ashamed or embarrassed. I was proud to have this beautiful woman in my arms.

We weren’t the only same sex couple there. Later I saw two young women dancing with their arms around each other as well. I like to think we set an example, that maybe they were more comfortable dancing together since they saw us doing it. But I didn’t do it for them so much as for myself. Pride month is coming, and I’ll be walking in the pride parade. My wife doesn’t want to stating, “I don’t like people” but, as a friend put it, these will be “my” people. I will walk with pride as I danced with pride, loving and being loved with courage. Letting the world know I love this woman, my heart, my everything.

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