Dealing with Doctors

One of the difficulties with having chronic illnesses is dealing with the doctors that are supposed to treat you. They dismiss our symptoms, our reality. If we say we’re in pain they treat us as “drug seekers”. When we try to learn about our illnesses we’re accused of relying on Doctor Google – even when they know little about the illnesses that we live with every day. They think their brief mention of our conditions in medical school overrules our firsthand experience. I’ve read this can be especially difficult for women. We’re not taken as seriously as men. Treatments are geared towards men.

Chronic pain or illnesses are not trivial. They affect our quality of life. The pain overwhelms us. They make it hard – if not impossible – to hold down a job. We can’t participate in important events like birthdays or weddings because we don’t have the strength to paint on a smile even for a few hours. We’re accused of seeking attention even when we don’t want it known to the world – even when we hide it.

I’m different from many people. My writing is my tether. I write to stay sane. I write to draw attention not to myself but to the issues that my experience qualifies me to write about. I have multiple conditions that make life so very hard. Too many of us hide our experience. We’re tired of the negative reactions and judgement. We would do anything to live our life without chronic pain, nausea, loss. Instead we fight every day to clean the house, make meals or do laundry. We don’t take time for ourselves beyond mere survival.

When that dismissal comes from doctors, it’s especially hard. We want answers! We want a treatment that will make us just like other people. We don’t take the good days for granted because there are so few of them and then we’re treated like hypochondriacs when we try to explain the bad days. We want our cries for help to be heard. We know our own bodies. We know when something is wrong. We know it’s not “in our head”. We’re scared because our futures are unknown. We’re worn out from the pain and confusion. As we seek answers we are drawn to the internet because the information doesn’t come with judgement. We want treatment. We want to get better. We want respect!

Photo by Hush Naidoo Jade Photography on Unsplash