Time

It’s been over three years since my mother passed away and I still miss her every day. As I look around my living room, I see the picture of her we used at her memorial. I see the quilt my daughter’s mother-in-law made of my mom’s t-shirts. She had three careers: as a WSU Professor, Director of a non-profit organization, and Licensed Local Pastor. I have t-shirts that capture those stages of her life. I see the pillows made from her nightgown, sweater and grandma sweatshirt. All these reminders of who she was as a person, not just my mom.

As I see these reminders, I wish I knew more of the stories behind them. I wish I had spent more time just talking to her. I’m grateful I was able to spend time with her before she passed, but I wish I had more. I’m realizing I am the oldest generation on my side of my family. We’ve said goodbye to my parents and now I represent the family history.

The time I have with my children and grandson is fading. My cognitive impairment is progressing slowly but steadily. Memories have disappeared. Time is slipping away. There are no guarantees of how much time any of us have but I know my time is limited. Now is the time to spend with my family.

My son has his life. My daughter has her family. I have wonderful children that love me very much, but they don’t have the regrets I have – at least not yet. But I worry that they may not realize that time is finite. There will come a time – sooner rather than later – when there will be no more Facetimes. There will be no more breakfasts at IHOP. The time for stories and remembrances will have passed.

So, this is my request of you reading these words. Find the time. Take the time. Live without regrets. You may think your parents are still young. I’m only 56. My family lives well into their 80’s. But I don’t have that kind of time. I don’t. I wish I did. I’m grateful that my progression is moving slowly but I also know that means years, not decades. And you never know, a heart attack, stroke or car accident. Anything can happen.

No regrets. That’s my wish for you. Take the time for visits and reunions. Spend time hearing stories and sharing memories. When a loved one comes to mind, pick up the phone. Send that funny meme that made you think of them. Time goes faster by day. Don’t let it slip away.

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Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash