It’s been an interesting week. Last week I was very discouraged. After waiting weeks to see a neurologist, she was not very hopeful. She told me my brain functions as if it had major neurocognitive disorder, but she doesn’t think it’s dementia. It may be medication related but I can’t adjust my meds. It’s taken decades to get me where I am – happy and functional. Her response? “You are between a rock and a hard place.”
This week I met with a speech therapist to do cognitive rehabilitation. I’m not sure what to expect but she thinks I can develop skills to deal with the memory loss and, in time, can refer me to a therapist to work with me to drive again. For the first time in a long time, I have hope.
Hebrews 13: 5b “For God has said, “I will never fail you. I will never abandon you.”
I’m scared of the future, angry to be going through this, and sad because people don’t understand my struggle. But I have faith in a God that knows the future, He is strong enough to bear my anger and has brought people into my life that do understand me – or at least try. He has saved me from my unhealthy ways of dealing with these strong emotions. He draws me back to Him when I rebel in frustration.
I have no idea if this therapy will work but I’m happy to be doing SOMETHING! I’ve made an appointment with another neurologist for a second opinion. After three months of depression, I’m querying agents again. I have hope for a future that doesn’t look anything like I expected it to be. I have faith in a God who is by my side no matter what the future holds. I have hope!
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