A friend sent me the quote, “Faith is not believing that God can, it’s knowing that God will”.
This sums up my spiritual dilemma. I have no doubt in my mind God is capable of healing. I have no doubt that God can intervene if He chooses. His omniscient, omnipresent, omnipotent self has no limitations so, why do I question where my life is going?
I’ve seen Him intervene. The fact that I’m alive and typing instead of suicidal, locked in a psychiatric ward is because of His intervention. Just because His healing me isn’t complete doesn’t minimize what He has already done. Knowing God can, really doesn’t take a great deal of faith. We can look at our situation, see what God has done in the world and see the gift’s He’s provided. But believing God will is frequently our stumbling block. We see all the pain God has allowed. Our focus seems to follow what God hasn’t done more than what He has.
I was talking to a friend and she brought up being prepared. She is very right. We’re not supposed to kick back in our recliner eating popcorn while God turns our lives into our image instead of what He wants. We need to be ready to act on His blessings. Even when God does intervene, it may not be what we want. I have a mental illness. Still. Unrelenting. A general pain in the patootie. God has neglected to provide a total healing. Yet, I have doctors that know how to treat me so it’s not so much worse. My spouse is transgender which can be challenging for those who love her but I do love her. And, more than that, she loves me! I have a soulmate who is committed to me no matter what I face and I am committed to her no matter where her journey goes.
Why do I doubt God? I think it comes to surrendering. I can’t control God’s will. I can see Him at work, I can pray for His intervention and His revelation but, ultimately, it’s in His hands. Yeah, I really don’t like that. I think it should be transactional: I pray, He gives me what I ask. . . Yep, that’s pretty much my expectation. It’s scary to give up control. It’s scary to look at my life and leave it up to God to reveal His plan for it. It scares me.
But, as I started this post, it’s not about me and what I want. Faith is trusting God’s love in the midst of chaos. It’s not sitting in the recliner, it’s about preparing, stepping out in faith, in obedience to God. God will be there, not filling the grocery list of requests but instead He is guiding us, holding us and empowering us. Always.
Proverbs 21:31 “The horse is prepared for the day of battle, But victory belongs to the LORD.”