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The Desires of our Heart


Have you ever wanted something so desperately it consumed your heart and mind? A desire that drives out all remembrance that God is in control and His timing is perfect? In your heart you know it but at that moment all you can focus on is that your all-powerful God seems silent in response to your pleas. You wanted an answer to your prayers – even a “No” so you could move on – but instead you waited, and waited, and waited.

If you’ve ever waited for the conception of a child, or a desperately needed job, or a prodigal child’s return, you know what I mean. It’s at these times that our faith is tested. I’ve always struggled with these times not because I doubt in God’s power but because I know it all too well. I KNOW God is all-powerful. I KNOW He can hear my prayers. And yet I also know He is sovereign and can do as He desires. I know that His answer may be “No” and it may be “Not yet” but still the waiting is so hard. I don’t question His power, I question His goodness. I question His love for me. And while I know his will is perfect, I don’t understand it.

Fortunately, I do not have to understand it nor do I have to like it. As the scriptures say "’For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,’ declares the LORD.” Isaiah 55:8 (NIV) As much as we want to know the “Why”: Why is this happening? Why can’t I get pregnant when drug addicted teenagers can? Why can’t I find a job when I can see such incompetence in the workplace? Why won’t my child understand I want to love her and help her and instead turns to drugs for relief?

And in that we find a glimpse of understanding. Just as earthly parents ache for their children to understand the depth of their love and the extent of help they want to provide so does our Heavenly Father ache to provide those same things to us. But as a parent who understands the difference between helping and enabling, our Heavenly Father knows what we need, when we need it.

Now, that analogy only goes so far because we are imperfect parents here on earth while our Father in heaven is perfect but, if we understand that God sees the big picture while we see only a sliver, our faith can bring back the remembrance of truth that our desires drive out. The truth is God does love me and his timing is perfect. I'm called to remember all the blessings He’s already bestowed and trust that there are more ahead.

So, how do I remember the love when I’m absorbed with anxiety? The scriptures tell us “Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus." Phillipians 4:6-7 (New Living Translation)

And God knows we get discouraged so He offers us encouragement, reminding us of His goodness: “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." Romans 8:28 (NIV) God knows our desires, He knows our anxieties and He knows our struggles and while our prayers may not be answered when or how we want them to be, He is right there beside us, blessing us, encouraging us, loving us.

“So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. Hebrews 10:35-36 NIV God will answer our prayers, the waiting will end. Our answer may not be what we think we want it to be but it will be what we need it to be and the ultimate blessing – eternal life – will be ours.

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